LADIES, PLEASE. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN...

..on the toilet seat! I hate when women come into the club (or any public bathroom) and pee all over the toilet seat. Do you understand how rude this is? What do they think they are going to catch from our toilet? Cookie dough glitter syndrome? We have toilet seat covers. Are they not good enough for you? Can you not wipe off your own secretion or put the seat up if you’re going to squat a foot above the toilet? Come on, now! Nothing’s worse than having to slop up another bitch’s urine before I can rest my clean ass down on the seat. All women everywhere need to start sitting their sweet asses down on the seat, as it would eliminate this disgusting issue. I have sat on toilet seats all my life and all over the world and I've never caught a damn thing.