AGRESSIVE STRIPPERS

All the clubs in town have been inundated with the girls from the Body Shop (an “accidental” fire took place recently, and the club will be closed for a month or so). Sucks to suddenly be out your home club, so I’m sympathetic, but these girls are nuts and loud as hell. It’s changed the entire dynamic around here. It’s interesting how different clubs will attract certain types of dancers. You’ll find a variety at any given joint, but strip clubs tend to have a specific personality. The Body Shop has long had a reputation of being a pretty intense place to work. Personally, I like friendly, less aggressive clubs and dancers, but have worked at all kinds (including The Body Shop). One of the Body Shopper’s (here tonight) is sweet, but I’m dead serious when I say that her speaking voice is around 95 dB. She needs to get her hearing checked. She hurts my ears. Oh, for fucks sake, another one just sprayed the nastiest body spray known to man, and I got caught in its aftermath, so now, I too, smell like a stripper garbage can. Awesome. Anyway, earlier, the sweet-but-ear-damaging girl went on stage and pulled a super crazy move.

She’s fun and friendly on stage, so I applaud her for that (not enough strippers are), but she’s been taking the guys hands and placing them on her breasts—which I frown upon—female clients, sure, but come on, not the guys…and not for a dollar! Anywho, so she was on stage, naked, smiling, gyrating, bordering on hyper, when she sits her ass on the railing in front of a guy, places her legs on his shoulders, hooking her ankles behind his neck, holds herself up, and starts violently jamming his face back and forth into her bikini area. I don’t really get this stage move. It’s brutal looking, not erotic. Whatever. Then, she JUMPS on the guys lap—putting all of her weight into it—and his fucking chair breaks! It was like something in a movie. Or cartoon. She could have broken his tailbone! I normally don’t laugh at people’s pain, but the whole thing was just so ludicrous, the entire club (including yours truly) went into hysterics. Luckily, no one was hurt, but she might need to rethink her approach.