March 31, 2015 ~ My thoughts on size


It was recently brought to my attention

that all I write about are guys with foot longs. This is not entirely true, I’m just a kind person...if I don’t mention the specifics of a man’s crotch rocket...it’s probably not the size of a baby leg. And while it’s true that I like nine inch dicques (AROUND), I’ve been in love with and have had really hot sex with a few men who were, in fact, just a little above average in the meat department.


There’s so much more to incredible sex than just a Colt45. I’ve had fooled around with guys with gorgeous schlongs and the sex was meh. My friend Erin and I were just discussing this; that sometimes these donkey dicque dudes are lazy in the sack. They’re like, “Here it is babe, where’s my gold star?”


Although the cockiness that generally comes with a swingin’ D is hot, it can also leave the dude a little light in other departments. Maybe it’s all that blood drain. Bless their hearts. I can walk into a room and generally sniff the peg legs. But not always. There’s been a mishap or two. I was fooled by a guy a bunch of years back (who shall remain nameless). The way he carried himself, plus other physical attributes, I could have sworn he was packin. He wasn’t, but it didn’t stop us from smokin’ in the sack. Can’t say I would have minded a little more girth on him. That said, I might have chained myself to his leg had that been the case so it was a good thing. Any woman worth her salt knows it’s all about girth. Those long ass baseball bats can fuck right off. Cervix killers is what they are. So, unless you’ve got a teeny peen (you need a finger cot for a condom), you’ve still got a shot. I just realized how horribly sexist this piece is! Fuckit.


To the big dicque dudes, A) Make sure you got the goods before you start spoutin’. The Texan talks about his “big dick” a lot. And while it’s okay around, it’s hardly winning blue ribbons. This phenomena seems crazy to me, considering how much porn men watch you’d think they’d know beyond a shadow of a doubt where they fell on the spectrum. However, P.O.V’s a little deceptive—makes your junk look bigger. It’s like the universe knew men would need that lookup. B) Don’t rely solely on that thing to make you good in bed. Explore all aspects, not just the bang-around. Conversely, to the guys with average Joe’s, be creative, don’t just be the world’s best at going down. I’m not knocking that, by the way, it’s high on my list. But anytime I meet a man who goes on and on about his oral skills, you know what I think? He’s got a small dicque. Granted, by that admission, my love of oral might scream I’m rockin a cave you could park a big rig.


One of my ex-boyfriends and I used to get super freaky in the verbal department. He turned me on so much it was insane. He had a great cock to boot. Sucker was heavy! Win-win. Unfortunately, he wore Teva’s so it was a wash in the end. Anyway, one time while he was pounding me, he slid each of his pointer fingers slightly inside on the sides of his kielbasa—it threw me over the edge. I remember thinking afterwards that it was a great idea for smaller dudes.


In conclusion, dick size matters to a point. Most women like ‘em bigger, but not all. I know women who don’t. Well, I know one woman. It simply feels better to me, but it’s not a deal-breaker. Case in point, our world population would be cut in half if it were.


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