THE SIZE ISSUE

It was recently brought to my attention that all I write about are guys with foot long dongs. This is not entirely true, I’m just a kind person...if I don’t mention the specifics of a man’s cock in the story...it’s probably not the size of a baby leg. And while it’s true that I like nine inch cocks (nine inches around), I have been in love with and have had really hot sex with a few men who were, in fact, average in the meat department.

There’s so much more to incredible sex than just an eggplant penis. I’ve had sex with guys (see “Power Tool”) who had gorgeous cocks, and the sex was meh. My friend Elizabeth and I were just discussing this; that sometimes these donkey dick guys are lazy. They’re like, “Here it is babe, where’s my gold star?” Although the cockiness that generally comes with a swingin’ dick is hot, it can also leave the dude a little light in other departments (not just sexually). Maybe it’s all that blood drain. I can generally walk into a room and sniff out the guys with big dicks. But not always, there have been a mishap or two. I was fooled by a guy a couple years back. The way he carried himself, and other physical factors, I could have sworn he had a big dick. He didn’t, but we still had the hottest sex (read about me coming in the car on 4thstreet). Can’t say that I wouldn’t have minded a little more girth on him, but I might have chained myself to his leg had his dick had been bigger, so it’s a probably a good thing.

Any woman worth her salt knows it’s the girth that’s key. Those long ass, skinny baseball bats can fuck right the fuck off. Cervix killers is what they are. So, unless you’ve got a teeny peen (you need a finger cot for a condom), you’ve still got a shot. I just realized how horribly sexist this piece is! Sorry guys. Chemistry makes up for inches. To the big dick dudes, A) Make sure it’s actually a big dick before you start spoutin’. The Texan talks about his “big dick” a lot, and while it’s got decent distance around, it’s hardly winning blue ribbons. This phenomena seems crazy to me, considering how much porn is watched by men, you’d think most guys would know beyond a shadow of a doubt where they fell in the dick department. However, P.O.V (point of view) is a little deceptive—it makes your dick look bigger. It’s like the universe knew men would need that little hookup. B) Don’t rely solely on that thing to make you good in bed. It’s the equivalent to fucking a gorgeous, but vapid model. Be into everything, not just the bang-around. Conversely, to the guys who lack in that department, be creative, don’t just be the worlds best cunnilingus. If I meet a guy and he goes on and on about going down on me, you know what I think? He has a small dick.

An ex-boyfriend and I used to get super freaky in the sex talk department, he turned me on so much with that shit. He had a great cock to boot, it was so heavy, so it was a win win (but he also wore Teva's, and therefore a wash in the end). Anyway, one time while he was fucking me, he slid each of his pointer fingers inside me on the sides of his dick and it threw me over the edge. I remember thinking after, that’s a great idea for the smaller dudes. Although I guess you’d have to make sure she didn’t think you were trying to intimate that her vagina was cavernous.

In conclusion, dick size matter to a point. Most women (myself included) like a bigger dick. It simply feels better, but it’s not a deal-breaker. Obviously, if it was, I imagine our world population would be cut by half.

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