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Sometimes when someone’s going down on me, a super curious thing happens. It will start before I come, and then dissipates moments after. It’s rare, but once in a while I have these semi out-of-body sex visions. I only become aware of it when it’s over, and they are a trip! The first one that I remember happened when I was with Alex. Her and I were up in Russian River for a lesbian festival. She was going down on me one afternoon, and it wasn’t until after I came that I realized we weren’t each other, and that I wasn’t in that hotel room with her for maybe five to ten minutes. Ok, bare with me here, this is strange to write about (says the woman who’s open about the most embarrassing shit!). So, ok, that first time, I was a mama bird and she was feeding from me. See, weird as fuck. I wasn’t consciously thinking about it (duh, I’m twisted, but not THAT twisted!), it just happened, and then after my orgasm I sort of came to and realized it. The second time, her and I were playing cards—like the ones in Alice in Wonderland. I swear, I’m not making this up, and no, I wasn’t on anything. In fact, I was still clean and sober. But seriously, playing cards? What in the holy hell is that? My crazy brain, that’s what. It’s happened randomly over the years since, with different partners, and always from getting head. I put a pillow over my face in order to get out of my head’s way, but lordy, it’s freaky up there. There’s been more animals. Kittens once. Which was cute and cuddly. But not sexual. It’s never something that I associate with sex. But I like the fact that the person going down on me is included in the bizzarity. I think we were items of food once. And chickens. Something space-like another time. Astronauts, I think. Once it’s over, I always have the same response, “Whoa, that was so weird, we were ______”.

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