WHEN DID THE LEFT LANE BECOME THE SLOW LANE??
Maybe you guys can help me understand something. Why, motherfucking why do slow drivers drive in the fast lane?? I have a ton of pet...
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Heart, Humanity, Tits & Wit
THAT ROCKSTAR I DATED
I was working in the Green Door Room one night—a six, girl-on-girl live nude show, ending with semi-private toy show—and while I was in...
WHY MY CAT'S AN ASSHOLE
To begin with, he’s a cat, so the extent of his give is limited. Monkey is a big, furry fuck, so in order to avoid dingleberries I have...
JAMAICAN HANGOVER
The shuttle came and it was clear that everyone was hungover and decidedly embarrassed. All eyes averted. The previous evening’s naked...
"SUICIDE IS PAINLESS"
July 31, 2015 was the 10th anniversary of my last—and second most serious—suicide attempt. Ten years. Sometimes it feels like yesterday...
FUN FACT
My fifteen minutes of fame happened in 1996. I was at the Free Tibet concert in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. MTV news was at the...
JEALOUS GIRLFRIENDS
[2010] I got a strange and unwelcome call from one of my semi-regular’s girlfriend . He’s a tattoo artist, and we figured out on our...
WHAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME
– i’m actually quite a soft, loving person. (unless i have low blood sugar) – i’m a bit of a healer by nature. one of the things i’ve...
INTERIOR: STRIP CLUB
A guy I’m sitting at a small table with is telling me about how much money he used to make, and how much he spent on strippers. Used to....
MY GUIDE TO GETTING OVER A BREAK UP
Make a playlist of songs from times past; tracks that bring to mind other lovers/and or times in your life. This will hopefully remind...
FUCKIN PAROTTHEADS
Jimmy Buffett shows were second in line as my most hated shows to work. The Grateful Dead being the first. Hated might be a little...
WE MIGHT HAVE FUCKED BEFORE
There’s a guy who comes to the club, who, as I understand it, was once engaged to one of my fellow dancers (I didn’t know who the guy was...
I JOT DOWN BITS ON MY PHONE TO REMIND ME OF WHAT HAPPENED (TO WRITE ABOUT IT LATER). I GENERALLY DO
lap dance tonight: mr shlong (he had a baby leg for a dick) & i spoke about head. giving/getting. his wife has never liked it. this...
DANCER AVOIDANCE TECHNIQUES
A dude the other night told me how he avoids being “hassled” by the girls. You know, avoiding us doing our jobs. First was to fake cell...
IF I COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT MYSELF, IT WOULD BE MY ORGASMS
Not the orgasm itself, but the ease in doing so. I’ve been a sexual being for a long time, but coming has been tricky for me. Granted, my...
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