The Texan is extra at a steakhouse

Blondie Pop wanted to see us so I said let’s do the first night instead of second because I was beat last time and my mood wasn’t great. Oh, right, but first, Texan had driven from NOLA. He went to the football game with the Millennial and a bunch of the guys. I would normally have gone but she’s never been so I gave it to her. And like clockwork, she was a no-fun stick in the mud. Everyone on the bus was asking, “where’s Shannon?”

She refused to go to the strip club after the game (walking distance from the hotel). I mean, I get it, she’s a dancer and he’s obnoxious, but damn girl, buck up, this isn’t about you! Anyway, back to Houston. Blondie Pop met us at the club. We had a blast. She partied this time, which was much better and more fun. It’s getting better with her now that we’re more comfortable with each other. Back at the hotel, he mainly fucked her. Whoopie! No condom though. She apologized and said she was clean.

“Girl, I’m not stupid, I figured he wasn’t.”

He lies. Of course he does. I need to get out of this before he gives me something. Anyway, he didn’t come until after she left. She thought he had (just like last time) but he didn’t, he’s just dramatic.

I noticed he was really putting on the pressure for her to “come”. Like an angry mission. His ego needed to be feed with fake orgasms. She and I exchanged loads of eye rolls throughout the night. He came from jacking off while I cradled his balls. I passed out after. The following night at dinner he shared that I said, “I’m really into this porn” then it ended and I added, “babe, start it up again.” He got up to do so. I was snoring when he came back. I have zero recollection of this but I think it’s hilarious.

Blondie surprised me by saying she wanted to see us again for the second night. I guess she didn’t go to the club that day so she needed some dough. Fine with me, now that it’s more fun, I’m down to share the responsibilities. I was tired.

I made dinner reservations. The place was fancier than I expected. We all met there. He was coming from day drinks with associates. And like so many times before: he was dark-side drunk. The worst. Blondie Pop and I traded looks when we recognized his mood. We’ve dealt with this before. It’s a nightmare. He kept booming that he was going to take his dick out. Why is that his default? No one gives a fuck about your dick.

At dinner, he was unbearable. Loud. Pummeling the sommelier that he chose the shittiest variety of such and such. It was embarrassing. And of course the guy had to stand there with a smile and take it. I wanted to murder the Foghorn. I went to the ladies room and did drugs instead.

We tried to get him to eat. Then he choked on a huge piece of steak. Basically puked it up on his plate. I nearly vomited from watching. Then the fucker eats another huge piece off said plate! I was done. We had to get out of there. Got the check. Ordered an Uber. Thankfully, his mood improved at the hotel. Again, he fucked her predominately. Thank you, Jesus. I was getting away with murder. I think he came. Who knows. I went to sleep. Bada boom. Always fun to see you, Houston.

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