My customer constantly misreads me…

I’ll smirk and he’ll think it’s because I’ve read his mind. In reality, I’m amusing myself at his expense. At the utter absurdity of his behavior, and our circumstance. I’ll be honest and say that I probably didn’t get the flu from him; he takes it as me trying to make him feel better (letting him off the hook). When the truth was, I had been kissing two other people. Most people (men, I’m speaking of men, why am I feeling the need to be politically correct right now?), want to hear their own truths. They keep the fantasy going, even when I’m breakin it off straight. Another example: The Texan is convinced I have a boyfriend. He thinks this because I hate texting, and he’s not allowed at my house. I tell him he’s wrong, but his mind is made up. Whatever. Think what you want, honey. His delusions make my life easier. Well, some of them. The other ones (that I like to be spanked really hard in the kidney—which I keep explaining is dangerous—as I’m faking an orgasm) are a pain in my ass. It’s an intricate and irrational web I weave. Living this double life. A weird way to make money, indeed.

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