YEASTY

A new girl just asked me if she smelled like a fucking yeast infection! She scratched her crotch as she did this. If I can smell your yeasty beaver from two feet away, it’s a serious problem, sweetie. I could never imagine in a million years asking anyone, let alone a complete stranger if they could smell my pungent and/or ill pussy.

But I laughed. I couldn’t help it. It was so absurd. I stared into her vacant eyes, looking for intelligent life or a sense of humor. Neither appeared. I backed up a little and said that she should probably leave work and hit a Rite-Aid pronto if she’s having lady biz troubles, especially if the issue has progressed to the point of a three-foot odor radius!

Dancers shouldn’t come into work with yeast or bacterial infections, for several reasons. First, the club environment is the worst place for a yeasty vag. Second, who wants a girl touching her sick snatch and then touching everything else? And third—although I admit that this is a little funny—guys are going to leave the club with their crotches smelling like unwell pussy.

Get the fuck out of here and take care of your shit! Young girls these days don’t know dick about their pussies. I witness these tweens spraying perfume directly on their pussies. That can’t be good. I also see them drowning their beaver’s with that FDS shit, which is unnecessary and gross. Your pussy shouldn’t smell like a baby or a rhododendron, it should smell like a clean vagina.