THE STAGE TOWEL
Here’s brilliant strip club tidbit number four hundred and two: the stage towel. We have a towel that sits by the stage on the carpeted stairs. Sometimes it hangs on the railing. Dancers use this towel to wipe the pole when they start their set. This is ridiculous, for several reasons. First, it looks bad, like we’re septic or something. Second, that nasty towel has been wiping the used pole and sitting in various unclean areas for god knows how long? Do girls think the club actually washes this towel? I’ve never seen a washer or dryer in the building. And the worst part is that it’s white so it glows from the black lights in all its stained and disgusting glory. It’s a fucking menace! It’s not small, either, like a washcloth. It’s larger than a hand towel and therefore highly conspicuous. I understand that girls are using this menace to wipe possible oil and pussy juice off the pole in order to climb it and show off their tricks, but if they also think that they’re sanitizing the pole, they’re sorely mistaken. I often kick the thing off stage. I don’t want that radiant piece of shitty terrycloth on my stage. It’s an eyesore, and it’s staring at me as I write this.