I SHOULD OPEN A CENTER...

to help strippers transition to the next career. Or an ad campaign, like the sad puppy commercials. Fuck the homeless and pound animals, we need help! A place where the ladies can talk to professionals in other fields, take aptitude tests (do they still make those?), figure out what they’d be good at, and what they’d enjoy. Attend support groups. Like solders coming home from a tour, we need aid in assimilating back into “normal” society. Rehab for dancers. Because the sex industry feels like an addiction sometimes. I definitely have moments when I think that I’ll never let it go. Quit the habit. I need someone to rip the needle out of my arm. The industry is bone dry, and hasn’t supplied a good high in years.

Authors note: this is not my overall take on the industry. It’s what I was feeling at the time when I wrote it. Also, it’s clearly tongue-in-cheek-y, but I’m hoping you picked that up.

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