third book

BRAND NEW PLATFORM: tap image

"THE VIRGIN": ROUND TWO

Saturday night. Same bat time, same bat hooker. But with a bone fracture. That I only found out was a bone fracture the day previous. I...

Remember when...

we were treated like adults? Back in the good ol’ days. When people took personal responsibility and pilots didn’t leave the seat belt...

Market Value

One of the more intricate (and endlessly frustrating) aspects of being a prostitute is how much to price your services. How much am I...

FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK: PLEASE DON'T WASTE MY TIME.

[October 2, 2015 Village Tavern 2:40 p.m.] It’s my birthday. I'm forty-five today. I like this number better than forty-four. I like odd...

THE STUFF PROSTITUTES DREAM OF

Easiest Texan trip to date! I was gearing up to roofie him, but it ended up being a prostitutes dream. I knew he wasn’t feeling well, but...

SORDID LOVE: IS THERE ANY OTHER KIND?

Almost one year ago I fell in love with a married man. It was instant: a force greater than both of us. He found me on Instagram. Had...

TAMPONS ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING

With that damn string. Pee string is what I call it. I shove that thing inside me too, so the urine doesn’t climb into my cunt. But even...

IT'S GOOD BEING A PERVY GIRL

Men are always willing to send you jack off videos and dicque pics (my special spelling for them). A pervy guy, however, is sometimes...

PET PEEVES & MOTHERS

I saw my mother the other day. Sadly, it was only for six hours, but six is better than nothing. We don’t get to see each other often...

"SUGAR DADDY" #3 A very expensive massage

I just left arrangement date number three. I swear these men are getting stranger by the second. I guess they’ve always been weird. I’m...

FOURTH TINDER DATE

If I make it out of this Tinderhole with out catching the clap, I’ve won. As I was waiting to hear back from Tinder #4 about our date...

THE UNICORN

It’s a trip and a half to sleep with someone who’s read every word you’ve ever posted. This happened last week. Super nice guy, he...

FIFTH TINDER DATE

Matt and I had been chatting. He seemed fun and sweet. Had a quick wit about him. And a handsome face, but was super short. Like 5’7. I...

"THE UNICORN"

The Unicorn and I had a lengthy discussion via text about us not having used a condom. Although I was recently tested and came back clean...

TINDER PIMP

So, do you remember my first Tinder date? The guy who failed to mention that he practices withholding? The one I left after fucking it...